Chapter 5 - A new beginning

I apologize from now to the distant reader
That will let his eyes gaze upon this lines
Even if at the start may seem as junk, litter
Poetry my soul and heart defines

Maybe for now i am talking in puzzles, riddles
Nothing makes any sense for i have not even begun
To enchant you with my strings and fiddle
But from now the spell is done

From now on you will keep reading, pushing forth
Your limits, your heart, imagination
Just like the guiding light that comes from the north
This purpose will have this creation

Thoughts are rushing through my mind
And everlasting flood of lines
I’ve endured for too long and been so blind
But now they finally surface...the rhymes

One year it has been since my last line was written
And that was with love in both mind and heart
But the result was fear and my soul was beaten,
Being clouded for twelve moons in the shadows, torn apart

But that is done now, a new age begins,
As the phoenix arises from its own ashes
As they play in the endless oceans, the dolphins
I will the magic pen out of the hidden stash

I played by this world’s rules for far too long
And found myself lost in the dark shadows
But now it is time for you to here my song
Carried by the wind, the sun and swallows


All these words, they might make no sense
But for me it is the silver lining
The lifeline in the void, the helping hands
Thus unlocking these heavy shackles, the magic bindings.

Releasing thus this soul to dream,
To create new worlds and to explore
And quiet down the never ending scream
So I can free the ancient lore.

Unthinkable is the power of a single word
It can destroy lives, bring them to ruin or create
Even the most complex universe or world
Stronger even than destiny or the fates.


Such is the power bestowed upon myself
A sanctuary deep within my own foolish mind
That cannot be stolen or learnt from books upon a shelf
But an angelic gift that one cannot ask for, cannot find

But now that I have recovered from this long sleep
I can never stop from writing anymore
But my awareness and imagination I must keep
It I can’t forsake, I can’t ignore

In these twelve month that have gone by
A lot of lessons have been learnt,
From the lustful intentions to being unable to cry
My spirit’s wish to write has deeply burnt

And let the runes carved within my skin
Shine bright and engulf thus the fear
Giving back my angel eyes and my devilish grin
A new beast on this world will now appear

Even if random are the words that I write
I can’t stop and I will not, such is my desire
But with this chance I will ask you, invite
For you to release your own unquenchable fire

And let your mind fly, let it spread your wings
And forget that this place we live in
Is a one way road with a prewritten ending
Our very existence feels the strain

I have been called in so many ways
From being weird, crazy and a freak
Childish and foolish is the mood my heart displays
After all i am nothing but a social misfit

What more can i say, i have no true friends
The ones i have are too far away
And the distance between us cannot make amends
Or help keep me out of harm's way

I have been backstabbed so many times
By those that were closest to my heart
Was foolish, couldn't read between the lines
All was lost, i had again to start.

But now i know better, expect for the worse
Always keep a few aces up my sleeve
In case of betrayal i will show no remorse
Vengeance will be harsh and swift

Interludiu

Iata ca a trecut aproape o saptamana de cand nu am mai scris desi s-au intamplat destul de multe lucruri care sa imi dea de gandit.

Imi permit sa incep cu reuniunea de 10 ani a clasei a 8-a din Scoala Generala nr.7, intalnire ce a avut loc sambata trecuta la Carul Berarilor pe Lipscani. A fost exact cum ma asteptam, poate un pic mai mult chiar. Ajuns acolo la ora stabilita, cu o eroare de un minut sau doua, am gasit culmea doar doua persoane, Claudia Enache si Simona Loghin. Sincer am fost foarte emotionat sa ii vad pe toti dupa un deceniu in care nu ne-am mai vazut sau nu am mai vorbit prin nici un intermediu si eram curios sa vad cum am evoluat cu totii, ca persoane, ca mentalitate, ca suflete.

Cum era de asteptat, unii au ramas in punctul unde erau si acum 10 ani, altii au evoluat, altii si-au schimbat modul de viata, altii au ramas la fel. E interesant sa vezi cum nebanuite sunt caile vietii si cum ajungem in locuri si sa facem lucruri pe care nu ni le-am fi imaginat cand eram in clasa a 8-a. Unii s-au casatorit, altii planuiesc sa isi traiasca viata in continuare intr-un ritm alert, neavand de gand sa incetineasca pana la 30-35 de ani, unii sunt in culmea fericirii altii abia isi cauta visul iar altii inca sunt in cautarea implinirii acelui vis. A fost o seara cel putin interesanta din toate punctele de vedere, cum zicea Andrei Gherghe, un bun prieten inca de cand eram mici in clasele primare, "Aceasta intalnire ne aduce inapoi nostalgia in inimi", facandu-ne sa ne fie dor de acele vremuri. Am petrecut pana tarziu in noapte, urmand sa ne mai intalnim cu totii cat de curand.

Chapter 4 - The philosopher within time

Another year is coming to an end

A human's fate might brake or bend

Living in illusion, in a world of deceit

The everlasting flame of lies is lit

I don't recognize myself anymore

Deluding that my soul is not sore

That i might be happy and filled with love

Instead i'm jumping off the cliff of a cove

An illusion is all that i feel

The fate is just like a wheel

It might be real or all just a dream

A myst that in the morning dissapears

Will I ever be able to live

To truly forget, redeem, forgive

Will i be able to truly smile

The pure sincere smile of a child

My soul will radiate brighter than the sun

Sighs...the story has just begun

i am sick of playing games

A stage set in purging flames

And me just an actor without glory

In life's cruel and endless story

Searching for ideal love

Illusions on the wings of a dove

That fly away not to be caught

Not seen, smelled or sensed by me

Those kind of things cannot be bought

For they roam away from the world, free...

But living in this endless lie

Makes my soul bleed and die

Resurrect and perish once more

Tormented from its skin down to its core

I don't know how much can i take

Before i will bend, before i will brake

Friends without spiritual connection

The shield of human world acts as protection

Protect you from love, from mercy, from pain

But slowly acts like a lethal bane

The bonds that are built are instantly broken

It's just the cruel destiny's token

For you believe in laughter and smiles

And for that life fills you up with cries

Cries of pain, cries of despair

Your soul is facing the electric chair

Will you live or will you die

Saved be you by the tears you cry

Tears that purge and purify

That you can't reject and can't deny

They will be bringed one way or another

To your sister, father, mother

They all will suffer, that the law

We all have to face this beast's deadly paw

The paw that strikes the weak ones down

Those who think are strong bow down

And enter its grip without knowing

In the demon's fog they start drowning

One question forever lingers in my mind

Me and this nightmare will forever bind?

Will i awake and face the life

With all i have, ending this strife

Will i find the love i search

The peace i long for so long....so much

Or will i die in ignorance

A bliss for others...an ensurance

For me a neverending torment

Without hear,sight,smell or scent

An eternal maze and me traped inside

My body, mind and soul collide

Merging all into one, spirits too

But thinking it makes me feel so blue

I wander this earth forever alone

Listening to despair's high tone

Echoing throughout the world

Souls are ever bought and sold

Like a merchandise sold for cash

I think that this is nothing else but trash

One cannot be bought at any price

My soul's freedom ...eternal paradise

A long way to achieve that goal

But i am here to fight...not fall into this hole

A soulmate i need to pull me out

From this void that i dwell in...

And i will shout as hell as loud

I won't give up, i won't give in

Light up my spark, this yearning desire

May it forever burn like Hephaistos fire

An opposition to Medusa's power

Where there is stone...there will be flowers

All the lands will bloom that day

And joyful spirits will bring praise

Remember the dark world as if a dream

And live in peace...outside this storm

That is my dream...won't live to see it

This chaotic world will make sure of it

Greed, lust, envy and malevoyance

People not fighting, living in obedience

Forgetting the basics, where they reside

Where there true home is, their ancestry pride

The pride of Dacia, Maya, or Greece

Lost in the ages with the golden fleece

As things become history, legend and myth

They are forgotten but not by the sleuth

He will remember where his origins lay

And his ancestors will lead him when he is astray

But all this without a kindred soul

Is all in vain I tell you all

Without one to share your hopes

We're living just like second grade dopes

One who will live for us as we live for them

That will give that souls, more precious than gems

The finest jewels the mankind ever seen

The brightest starts in all galaxies they've been

They light up our lives, awake us from this dream

Make them reality, a ledge you can lean

A brick on which you build...a castle

Away from this putrid world's hustle

They are the purest angels of all

They give you wings when you start to fall

They help you reach towards the sky

You helpless find yourself cry

Because you know that without them

You wouldn't be able to fly then

They tend your wounds and heal your soul

So you can accomplish you life's goals

As a conclusion, without a soulmate

A waste of time to challenge fate

With them you are surely winners

Without you are meer gamblers

As i haven't found the one for me

I pray that it isn't the case for thee

I hope that you already found her

Or him...and that you treasure

For if you don't than you're a fool

Drowning in this life's turmoil pool

I say this to all of you

May you be loved for it is true

Capitolul 3 - Distractie si invatare

Ma simt nevoit sa scriu astazi pentru ca ieri a fost o zi plina de evenimente notabile. Aseara in sfarsit au citit capitolul doi din aceasta cuvantare pe care o tin eu in acest blog cele doua persoane care doream sa le citeasca, si reactia a fost se pare una pe care nu o mai simtisem de mult timp incoace. Uitasem cum este sa sochezi pe cineva prin lucrurile pe care le fac, nu stiu in ce masura am socat acea persoana, dar doar vestea ca am facut-o din nou mi-a dat un plus de energie.

Din motive lesne de inteles o sa folosesc nume fictive pentru persoanele cu care ma intalnesc. Am fost sa vedem Robin Hood, un film extraordinar in esenta si in amanunt. Am ramas socat de versiunea prezentata, una in care faimosul rege Inima de Leu a dus Anglia in pragul falimentului si al cuceririi acesteia de catre francezi, acesta fiind nimic mai mult decat un tiran betiv care praduia totul in acele faimoase cruciade pentru a reface visteria Angliei, masacrand barbati, femei, batrani si copii in numele religiei. In acelasi timp armata lui se compunea in mare parte din betivi ordinari si depravati fara pic de onoare, mercenari in adevaratul sens al cuvantului, cu mici exceptii bineinteles.

Sa analizam un pic personajele si felul in care ele relationeaza fata de celelalte versiuni ale acestei povesti epice. Am spus deja despre rege, apoi stim cu totii ca in legenda se vorbea despre Robin Loxley. In cazul nostru este vorba despre Sir Robert Loxley, care locuia in Nottingham si detinea cam tot pamantul din zona, care s-a casatorit cu Lady Marion, iar aceasta a ramas acasa incercand sa intretina familia si sa aibe grija de tatal lui, ramas orb in timp ce acesta a plecat 10 ani in cruciada cu sabia tatalui sau. Era unul dintre cavalerii apropiati regelui si cel care a fost desemnat sa duca inapoi in Anglia coroana regelui dupa moartea acestuia. Robin Hood aka Robin Longstride era liderul companiei de arcasi din armata regelui, care in ultima batalie inainte sa se intoarca in Anglia, cea in care moare regele vrea sa dezerteze si sa traiasca iarasi liber, asa cum a facut inainte sa porneasca in aceste cruciade blestemate. La fel ca si little John, doar ca acesta era unul din fruntasii armatei care cucerea un castel. Parintele Tuck este un calugar ce a fost adus in Nottingham in locul parintelui care a fost promovat la York. Printul John, si aici era un depravat care abia de isi stergea mucii de la nas singur. Spre sfarsitul filmului bineinteles ca Robin ramane cu Marion iar ei 2 sunt proscrisi la fel ca si restul oamenilor ce le tineau partea in Nottingham. Sfirsitul este pe jumatate dezolant, pe jumatate datator de speranta. Dar mai bine nu mai vorbesc eu despre acesta si mergeti sa il vedeti. Merita cu desavarsire.

Sa revenim la numele acelea fictive. Pentru una dintre ele, cea mai copilaroasa as putea folosi numele de Hannah, care inseamna gratie, farmec, indulgenta, eleganta, indurare. As putea sa zic ca acesta este un nume potrivit pentru ea si din prisma faptului ca toata aceasta descriere a numelui este in perfecta simetrie cu personalitatea ei, reflectand-o perfect.

Sa gasesc un nume pe care as putea sa il folosesc pentru a doua persoana este mult mai complicat, deoarece ea este o persoana mult mai complexa si mi-a fost foarte greu sa gasesc un nume care sa contina tot ce este ea, dar dupa ceva cautari, in sfarsit am gasit unul sa se potriveasca perfect...Athena (Atena), Zeita greaca a Intelepciunii. Descrierea ei pe scurt ar fi urmatoarea : "Athena was loved by most everyone, and was a very loving person herself." Pe langa aceasta descriere succinta alte atribute ar mai fi bunatatea sufleteasca si modestia, precum si arta de a invata pe altii lectii de viata fara ca acestia macar sa isi dea seama pe moment, lucru pe care l-am simtit pe propria piele in acea seara.

Cand am ajuns acolo, i-am spus Hannei ca trebuie sa se maturizeze si ca mai are multe de invatat, la care Athena a raspuns intr-un ton foarte cald "Nu il asculta. Esti perfecta asa cum esti." Nu am realizat pe moment ce incerca sa spuna. Mai tarziu cand am ramas doar eu si Hannah la o tigare si o cuvantare, i-am zis ca fiecare se maturizeaza in propriul fel si ritm si ca nimeni nu ar trebui sa fie scos din acest ritm doar pentru a se supune legilor lumii in care traieste. In fine, am ajuns acasa si am inceput sa analizez tot ce s-a intamplat in acea seara si mi-am dat seama ca am fost pus cu botul pe labe, la propriu. Tocmai ce ziceam ca fiecare suflet evolueaza in propriul ritm si atunci cuvintele Athenei mi-au rasunat in minte, dandu-mi seama cat de copil sunt eu inca. Am fost invatat la propriu o lectie in intelepciune, toleranta, chibzuinta, bunatate, lucruri pe care inca se pare ca nu le-am deprins in intregime si mi-e rusine sa vad cat de ipocrit am putut sa fiu. Tocmai eu vorbeam de maturizare si de rabdare si se pare ca tocmai eu inca am mari lacune in aceste lucruri. Tot ce ramane este sa ii multumesc pentru frumoasa lectie de viata si pentru felul in care mi-a predat-o, sa iau aminte si sa am grija sa nu mai face aceleasi greseli ca si pana acum.

Este o persoana fascinanta, din toate punctele de vedere si sper sa apuc sa o cunosc mai bine, pentru ca sunt sigur ca inca mai am multe de invatat de la ea. Pe langa ea inca par un copil razgaiat care abia invata sa mearga.

Offf...As putea sa continui sa scriu atat de multe dar pentru moment ma inec intr-un sentiment de mahnire in ceea ce priveste aceasta viata si incerc sa gasesc o solutie sa ies din ea.